I'm writing again. 

I just need to breathe. 

So much is happening...I don't know what to do. I don't know where I'm going, what I'm doing, how I'm getting there...it's all just...mush.

And dammit, I've got to stop trying to please everyone. I have to stop trying to live up to other people's expectations. I need to accept how I am.

I'm not the most sensitive person in the world; I wish I was.

I can't play any musical instrument if my life depended on it; I wish I could.

I'm weak; I wish I wasn't.

I give into pressure; I wish I didn't.

I am who I am. And maybe someday someone will love me for it. But I can't keep looking for love...becuase I can't find something if it's not looking for me, too. 

I just have to.....wait.