When I was there, I felt heaven. I saw the eyes of Jesus. Love without ceasing. Hope when nothing else is left. Faith in the midst of helplessness.
What makes them so "undeserving"? That is something that I don't think I will EVER understand! Why does God allow that? Why?! I can't grasp it! I hate being so resentful to such an omniscient God, but I can't help it. It doesn't make sense. Father, why do your children go hungry? Why does your love seem so far?
Sometimes I wonder if God allows things like that to happen because, in certain moments, you can feel his presence...and it's in those moments that you feel heaven. And isn't that what He wants for us? He wants us to be with Him and feel his all-consuming presence.
In a way, it's almost painful. Because it's not like you can just experience heaven and then just move on with your day-to-day life...instead, you're constantly hungering for more of it. I can't stop thinking about it...I crave it. So, I guess I'm homesick....homesick for a place I've never been, but I know I'm going.
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