I am fallible; I know this to be true because it has been proven on numerous occasions. I know I talk too much, and I realize that I don't always have the right words to say or respond the right way in times of temptation. I already know all of this! But what I don't know is why my peers are limiting me to only what they think I am--which is an overly spontaneous, whimsical, never-think-twice, loud mouthed and sometimes weird girl who isn't afraid to say what she thinks.
Why is this always what I'm simplified down to? Maybe I don't express myself enough--but it seems like when I do, I get laughed at. How wonderful.
Am I some kind of math equation? ..Something that is difficult to understand, but can always be figured out with the same formula every time. Nothing more than that. No density. No volume. Nothing.
..Someone that can always take a joke, an insult, a cutting remark, something that would never be said to anyone else..but just because it's Esther, that means it can be said. Because she dishes it, so she can take it.
..Really? I insult people on a daily basis, mock what they say, and laugh at their opinion? I do that? Please, bring that to my attention next time I do that..Really, please. I never intend to hurt anyone, especially those I know and love the most, and if it was brought to my attention, I'd swear to never make the mistake again. Unfortunately, I don't think my peers are the same way. I've brought it to their attention, I've expressed how much it hurts--yes, it really does hurt--but I mean, c'mon, it's ME--I can take anything, right?
I appreciate those who respect who I am. I'm someone who doesn't deserve anything..I have nothing. All I am is in Christ alone; He deserves the praise. But I'm not asking for anything. I'm not asking for a compliment. I'm not asking for a note that says "Have a good day." I'm not asking for a dinner invitation. All I want is to be heard for who I am and to be respected...for my differences to be accepted, and for my opinions to be considered before being swatted almost instantly.
Sometimes I think people don't know me. They only know what they want they want to know. If you don't want to bother trying to get to know who I really am, that's fine with me. But do not pretend like you've got me all figured out..not even I have that part down yet, so how could you?
Why is this always what I'm simplified down to? Maybe I don't express myself enough--but it seems like when I do, I get laughed at. How wonderful.
Am I some kind of math equation? ..Something that is difficult to understand, but can always be figured out with the same formula every time. Nothing more than that. No density. No volume. Nothing.
..Someone that can always take a joke, an insult, a cutting remark, something that would never be said to anyone else..but just because it's Esther, that means it can be said. Because she dishes it, so she can take it.
..Really? I insult people on a daily basis, mock what they say, and laugh at their opinion? I do that? Please, bring that to my attention next time I do that..Really, please. I never intend to hurt anyone, especially those I know and love the most, and if it was brought to my attention, I'd swear to never make the mistake again. Unfortunately, I don't think my peers are the same way. I've brought it to their attention, I've expressed how much it hurts--yes, it really does hurt--but I mean, c'mon, it's ME--I can take anything, right?
I appreciate those who respect who I am. I'm someone who doesn't deserve anything..I have nothing. All I am is in Christ alone; He deserves the praise. But I'm not asking for anything. I'm not asking for a compliment. I'm not asking for a note that says "Have a good day." I'm not asking for a dinner invitation. All I want is to be heard for who I am and to be respected...for my differences to be accepted, and for my opinions to be considered before being swatted almost instantly.
Sometimes I think people don't know me. They only know what they want they want to know. If you don't want to bother trying to get to know who I really am, that's fine with me. But do not pretend like you've got me all figured out..not even I have that part down yet, so how could you?
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